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Lauren V. Hadley's avatar

Stunning. Absolutely stunning. The machine narrator is integral to the story because the way technology mediates relationships is one of the main pillars. I completely believed it as hard SF, and it did that without losing bodies or emotion. It's tragic in a way that feels inevitable and elemental. It's the relationship between love and death.

Dove Harper's avatar

Thank you Lauren!! I’m so glad you liked it. Fun challenge. More more! I’m tempted to turn this into a full story or something. Idk! I love being a nerd. ❤️. I highly recommend The Expanse. I love it. It’s not just sci fi shooty shooty. It’s part mystery, part science, part found family. The characters are integral. I love it.

Lauren V. Hadley's avatar

Coincidentally, I just finished my writeup for this story, which is basically a much more detailed version of my comment above. What you've already got feels like something you'd find in a sci-fi anthology in print, but if you're thinking of developing it further, I'd say go for it. I already thought the Expanse was something I needed to get around to checking out sometime, and now I think that twice as much. Maybe I'll get around to it once I've got everything ready for tomorrow.

Also yes, I think at a minimum I'm going to make this challenge an annual thing, and I might do more. Challenges take a little bit of time away from doing my own writing, but they turn out to be super good visibility for everyone involved.

Dove Harper's avatar

Sweet! Love to hear it. I just might! ☺️❤️

Lauren V. Hadley's avatar

Finally sitting down to read this. I haven't read/watched the Expanse, either, but I get the feeling I'd enjoy it; the broad strokes of the setting seem fairly similar to the backstory of the Directorate and Free Collective in my setting.

LanternInOrbit's avatar

Hmmmm... I think I need to read / watch The Expanse after this!

Dove Harper's avatar

Ugh. Read it. It’s so good. Apparently they didn’t finish the books and went in a slightly different direction with the show because it got cancelled. It’s really good though overall!

Pamela O's avatar

I'm addicted to tragedies set in space or in open sea. You manage to tell it with such great delicacy, and even the infernal machine gets its own arc of "redemption" and gifts us a bittersweet ending together with the newly formed couple and the few minutes they have left. Absolutely brilliant story, Dove!

Dove Harper's avatar

Thank you so much Pamela! From such a skillful wordsmith, it means a lot 😭❤️